I write regardless

Waiting to write on my blog when I feel happy is playing into the social media ethos. It means that I am drawn to showing the highlight reels of my life instead of its messy mishmash of wins and lows and the figuring out of it all.

Waiting to write on my blog until I feel certain about my thoughts plays into the arrogance I see encouraged on social media. As if I am the master of my life, as if I know everything there is to know about the issue I am writing about. I can say what I know now and that is okay. Of course I might feel or know different in the future, even tomorrow. Isn’t that what life is like anyway? Isn’t that growing?

Waiting until problems have been resolved to write on my blog is playing into the posturing on social media. It means that I want to show that I always make the right choices, make full proof decisions and that I never fail. It means that I get impatient when my brood does not behave according to society’s standards. It means I have to blow wins out of proportion and show you all, that yeah, I am a master at this parenting game.

Waiting until my prayers have been answered in order to write on my blog plays into the public righteousness displayed on social media. If I have experienced blessings then I must be ticking all the boxes, my faith flows in plenty and I give abundantly. It must mean that I am not plagued by generational curses, they have been burned with fire and God is rewarding me with juicy miracles. I cannot show the tears of frustration and the middle of the night questions asking why. Oh no. Someone might think karma is serving me her bitchy rewards.

Waiting until I can laugh, clap and dance so I can write on my blog is what has caused it to go silent for months on end. Wanting to entertain should not be my why. Wanting that one reader to know they are not alone, weird, cursed, or deserving of shame is why I write.

Life is messy. I will write regardless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s