My heart beat feels weak. It’s as if it does not have the strength to give a full blooded pump. My left arm tingles. There is a faint twinge of pain in my head.

Now what did I go and do?  Is it the milky coffee I took just before bed? Perhaps I should have persisted in finding the local brand I was used to. This new one may be real coffee, ha!

Not long ago, I took the risk of taking a cup of coffee to warm up on chilly night. I was out of roiboos tea.  It put me straight to sleep. What a delightful discovery! A sweeter alternative to the yellow things I swallow when sleep is still obstinate and its 2.17am.

My arm still tingles. Just before bed I took one of the red things. I have been feeling weak all day. Weak but happy, because the washer was finally working. I enjoyed loading it up, and folding away afterwards.  But after the bedtime routine of supper, baths, bible, prayer, washing the dishes, and cleaning up, I was really knackered. And weak. So I took the thing that keeps my blood pressure steady.

What colour thing should I take now? Its 2:21am and tomorrow is Saturday. My troops expect breakfast, lunch, and supper. I even promised to make some juice. I have to find a way to shop for the week using a few day’s budget. School starts on Monday. Let’s please not discuss school fees.

I have prayed in the Spirit, I have reminded my Lord that He gives sleep to those He loves. But my thoughts still race on. My breath is laboured. I am a little scared.  If my smart phone were not dead, I would listen to the podcasts and audio sermons that beat the racing thoughts to the finish line.  Instead, I must contend with this endless silence.

I cannot sleep.

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